When one takes the
bus going to and fro, one often has a chance to meet a couple of rather
interesting people. Once, a rather cute girl sat opposite me and gave me a
hey-good-looking kind of look. Surprised that she took an interest in me, I
responded with a you're-pretty-good-looking-yourself-what's-up glance, before
staring out the window, playing hard to get. Looking back after a while, I saw
she was gazing at me with a
you-know-if-you-ask-me-to-go-get-a-drink-with-you-I'd-probably-say-yes air
about her.
Before I could say
anything, the bus stopped and in walked a woman who left nothing to the
imagination. I quickly glanced at her with a nonchalant air of
I'm-gonna-check-this-girl-out-and-then-hope-that-the-other-girl-didn't-notice-me,
before turning back to the girl sitting opposite me. Judging by the
oh-I-saw-you-check-that-girl-out-what-you-don't-think-I'm-good-enough-for-you
stink eye that she was giving me, I knew I was in the dog house. A couple stops
later finally I managed to catch her eye and tried my best sad, puppy dog
please-take-me-back-I-swear-that-it-was-only-that-one-time-I'll-be-completely-loyal-to-you-from-now-on
eyes.
Thankfully, those did
the trick. We spent the rest of the trip throwing looks at each other, madly in
love. She gave me an inquisitive do-you-want-children look, to which I replied
with a sure-babe-whatever-will-make-you-happy. However, when she gave me a
oh-we'll-have-to-get-babysitter-since-we'll-both-be-super-busy roll of the
eyes, I was forced to react with a sharp wait-I'm-not-leaving-our-kid-with-some-random-stranger-you're
gonna-stay-home-and-watch-the-child glare. The moment I did this, I knew I was
in trouble. She shot me a
well-if-you're-going-to-be-this-way-then-I'll-start-to-resent-you-and-after-a-while-I'd-kill-you-in-your-sleep-and-feast-on-your-genitalia
look and then got up and left.
The old woman who had
been sitting next to me and silently watching us look at each other turned, and
gave me a you-know-if-she's-not-into-you-I'm-sure-I'd-count-as-a-mature-maybe-even-a-MILF-if-your-standards-are-low-enough
kind of look. I got off the bus at the next stop, deciding that it would be
better for my health if I walked.
Andrew J. Buring
